Read quickly, love.

You've probably found me from Blogmad/Blogadvance, which means we have roughly 30 precious seconds together. Read quickly, dahling - I'm going to share ten intimate facts with you.

If you comment with an intimate fact of your own or a thought on mine, I'll have a look at your blog. That said, enjoy:

1) My parents divorced when I was four. My father remarried my nanny. My mother was in a relationship for seven years; her fiance cheated on her with a prostitute (who he eventually married and moved to Mexico with) and she has vowed never to date again.

2) When I was 5 years old, my grandparents bought me a pet cockatiel. When they asked what I wanted to name it, I joyfully shouted "F**ker!" My mother swore around me less frequently from then on.

3) I have a labrador retriever named Ducky. He once ate a bottle of wart remover without so much as an upset stomach. He chews holes in the wall and constantly eats the crotch sections out of my underwear, but I love him so I put up with it.

4) When I was 9 years old, I gave my senile great grandfather a shiny piece of quartz I found in his driveway. He ate it and died later that week.

5) I'm a vegetarian, and I sincerely love tofu.

6) I'm raising a pair of orphaned cottontail rabbits. I think they're about 10 days old. I've lovingly dubbed them "Spike" and "Not-Spike."

7) My favorite number is definitely "8," and my favorite letter is certainly "S." Why? Hell if I know.

8) I've only been in love three times, and I've never been loved back by any of them. Love's still a sacred thought to me, and I'm still a virgin.

9) I don't know if I'll ever have kids. I've found that babies are cute, but only in convenient 2-hour doses.

10) Before I moved to Texas, I took care of a horse named Shadow at an equine shelter. I only rode him once, and due to a freak accident, was never allowed to ride him again. I still spent two years with him. He died the year after I left, on my birthday.