Are you prepared for the gallery of never-before disclosed cell phone snapshots? You've been warned. Scroll down... if you dare.

	"Couch Squirrel" The Panhandle Couchdwelling Squirrel, known in the scientific world as the 'fat bastard' of the animal kingdom, is a rare sight to behold in these parts. The appearance of this rare and elusive beast is often heralded by the exclamation, "Dear God, that fucker BIT me!"
"Dashboard Jesus" Jesus, Son of God, begotten of the virgin Mary, comes to you today fresh from the sweatshops of China, ready to free you of your sins in the convenience and comfort of your own vehicle. You'll think twice about going 70 on a 65 highway when dashboard Jesus is your guide.
	"zomg teh bunnys" These two beloved cottontains (known to friends and family as Spike and Not-Spike) were released several months ago into the wilderness of Central Texas. Since then, local landowners have noted a rapid increase in the deaths and disappearances of livestock and several young children have been reported as missing. If you have any information about the whereabouts of these alleged 'bunnies,' please call your local law enforcement office.
"My Little Fix" I don't care what anyone says, My Little Ponies are dangerous, addictive motherfuckers. Crack cocaine for your inner child, if you will.