Guinea pigs in Motion(?)

I am the Queen of HalfAssery. Surely, a Goddess among mere mortals.

So my fellow Physics pupil calls me up this Saturday and basically tells me to do this group project that was announced three weeks ago (on a day when I was at home, faking sickness) by the end of the weekend. Oh, I said I'd do it. Katie-style.

(To this moment, I'm not sure what the actual instructions for the project were. It had something to do with an experiment, velocity, acceleration, and graphs.)

So, yesterday night, I took out my dusty video recorder, and filmed two minutes of my ancient guinea pig sitting on my kitchen floor on a line marked "Start." And sitting, and sitting, and sitting. Dead still.

I then wrote a 2-page report on the velocity and acceleration of an unmotivated guinea pig. That would be 0 m/s and 0 m/s². I made sure to include my calculations and a notation that, had we been using equations applying to the three-dimensional read world, we would have taken into account the very slight occasional bobbing of the guinea pig's head.

I had to present this to the class today. I've really never seen this look on my Physics' teachers face; it's a look halfway between utter shock and oh-my-God-you-must-be-kidding. My flustered lab partner muttered quietly to himself, "It'll be okay, it'll be okay, she'll fail us, and then we'll just do it over again. It'll be okay, I'll do it next time and we won't fail and it'll be okay. Oh my God! It'll be okay."

I think we'll get an A. My guinea pig's pretty darn cute, if not mobile.